What Are the Signs and Symptoms of BPD in Men?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) affects between 0.7% and 2.7% of the U.S. population, but it’s been historically considered more common in women than men. In general, women have a clinically higher rate of BPD than men at 3% vs. 2.4%, respectively — and 75% of all people diagnosed with BPD (about three in four) are women. 

Although these differences aren’t that great, BPD in men is a significant problem in the mental health space. But it’s almost stigmatized in the way it’s culturally perceived — often misunderstood or misdiagnosed in the paradigm of mental illness and personality disorders.   

Yet, because BPD symptoms in men can manifest differently than they do in women, they’re often overlooked because of the misconceptions surrounding how the disorder impacts men. This can result in many men with BPD not recognizing their challenges or struggles as legitimate, diagnosable symptoms of a serious disorder.  

The truth is that BPD in men demands awareness since it can impact your health, well-being and relationships — diminishing your ability to live your best life. Left untreated, BPD can also lead to the development of other mental health conditions.  

Here’s what the symptoms and signs of BPD in men look like and how to get help for yourself or someone you care about.  

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder? 

Like many similar disorders, BPD is a complex, chronic mental health condition that affects the way one’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors are negatively interconnected in every facet of daily life.  

BPD is primarily punctuated by an inability to control and regulate emotions, which can result in developing an unhealthy and unstable identity, radically extreme and unpredictable mood swings, and impulsive behaviors. People with BPD often struggle with their sense of self, fluctuating between feelings of worthlessness and grandiosity.  

“People with borderline personality disorder have a strong fear of abandonment or being left alone,” notes the Mayo Clinic. “Even though they want to have loving and lasting relationships, the fear of being abandoned often leads to mood swings and anger. It also leads to impulsiveness and self-injury that may push others away.”  

Personal relationships may become further complicated since a person with BPD may tend to vacillate their view of a significant other or someone close to them in abrupt, dramatic ways. “They can go from idealizing others to devaluing them quickly and vice versa,” says the Cleveland Clinic. 

Personality Disorder Clusters 

Personality disorders (such as bipolar disorder) exist clinically on a cluster spectrum. BPD is part of Cluster B — classified as dramatic and erratic — alongside other conditions like antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders. BPD often originates in one’s later teenage years or early adulthood. 

“People with borderline personality disorder often feel as though they lacked a certain level of nurturing while growing up,” notes Johns Hopkins Medicine. “As a result, they constantly seek a higher level of caretaking from others as adults. This may be achieved through manipulation of others, leaving them often feeling empty, angry, and abandoned.”  

A person with BPD may react to these feelings through a number of extreme behaviors, like abusing substances, promiscuous/unsafe sex, reckless driving, careless gambling or spending, or suicide attempts.  

According to the Mayo Clinic, many people with BPD are unaware they have it and don’t know of a way to act and relate healthily to others.  

BPD in Men vs Women 

How common is BPD in men? Although BPD is often considered a predominantly female disorder, men can experience its adversely consuming impacts to equal effect. The difference is in the way BPD manifests itself between both genders.  

“There is particular focus on symptoms and comorbid disorders, which shows a tendency of males with BPD to more likely exhibit externalizing symptoms and comorbid disorders, while females with BPD to more likely exhibit internalizing symptoms and comorbid disorders,” notes a 2022 study, Sex differences in borderline personality disorder.  

“BPD females more likely reported affective instability, identity disturbance, chronic feelings of emptiness and unstable relationships, but not self-harm behaviors,” notes a 2024 study. “Conversely, men were significantly more likely to engage in impulsive behaviors and express outbursts of anger.” 

However, that doesn’t mean that signs of BPD in men are entirely overt (despite histrionic behavior typical between both genders). Quiet BPD in men — an internalized form of the disorder and one of four BPD subtypes — is less common than in women, but it can make diagnosing BPD symptoms in men even more difficult than it already is in the clinical world. They may internalize their distress rather than acting out, appearing calm on the surface but all the while battling intense emotional turmoil internally.